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Vintage Dilbert  September 12, 2012

Vintage Dilbert September 12, 2012

A long lost sheep, Shrek, became famous several years ago when he was found after hiding out in caves for six years. Of course, during this time his fleece grew without anyone there to shorn (shave) it. When he was finally found and shaved, his fleece weighed an amazing sixty pounds. Most sheep have a fleece weighing just under ten pounds, with the exception usually reaching fifteen pounds, maximum. For six years, Shrek carried six times the regular weight of his fleece. Simply because he was away from his shepherd.

This reminds me of John 10 when Jesus compares Himself to a shepherd, and His followers are His sheep. Maybe it’s a stretch, but I think Shrek is much like a person who knows Jesus Christ but has wandered. If we avoid Christ’s constant refining of our character, we’re going to accumulate extra weight in this world—a weight we don’t have to bear.

When Shrek was found, a professional sheep shearer took care of Shrek’s fleece in twenty-eight minutes. Shrek’s sixty pound fleece was finally removed. All it took was coming home to his shepherd.

I believe Christ can lift the burdens we carry, if only we stop hiding. He can shave off our ‘fleece’—that is, our self-imposed burdens brought about by wandering from our Good Shepherd.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

 

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Dilbert.com August 4, 2004

Dilbert.com August 4, 2004

A group of frogs was traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit.

All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump out of the pit with all of their might.

The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead.

Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.

He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?”

The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

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Vintage Dilbert March 16, 2016

Vintage Dilbert
March 16, 2016

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision. The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, Never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” The youth answered “none”.

The director asked,  “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?” The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees”.

The director asked,  “Where did your mother work?” The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect”.

The director asked,  “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?” The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me”.
The director said, “I have a request. When you go back home today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning”.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son. The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tears fell as he cleaned. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future. After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes and asked:  “Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?” The youth answered,  “I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes”.

The Director asked,  “please tell me your feelings”. The youth said, “Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the success for me today. Number 2, By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship”.

The director said,  “This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired”.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

 

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Vintage Dilbert March 3, 2014

Vintage Dilbert
March 3, 2014

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISTS.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

I hope you enjoyed this story about MOM as much as I have..... 
Explore the MS&D archives for over 1000 additional stories... 
Take Care and God Bless :-) Kenny T
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Vintage Dilbert March 3, 2003

Vintage Dilbert
March 3, 2003

 

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it…

14. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come…

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old,
 Cleveland, Ohio 
Vintage Dilbert February 25, 2005

Vintage Dilbert
February 25, 2005

Outside my window a new day I see

And only I can determine what kind of day it will be.

It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay

Or boring and cold, unhappy and gray.

My own state of mind is the determining key

For I am only the person I let myself be.

I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help

Or be selfish and think just of myself.

I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun

Or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone.

I can be patient with those who may not understand

Or belittle and hurt them as much as I can.

But I have faith in myself and believe what I say

And I personally intend to make the best of each day.

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I have..... Explore the MS&D 
achieves for over 1000 additional stories... 
Take Care and God Bless :-) Kenny T
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Vintage Dilbert February 18, 2008

Vintage Dilbert
February 18, 2008

Last week I was having breakfast at Chik-fil-A and as I was sitting in my truck eating I noticed a homeless guy sitting on the curb behind the building with his dog.

He was holding a sign asking for money or food donations to help feed him and his dog (did not look like a druggy or alchy just an older man down on his luck). I observed him the entire time I ate my breakfast, he mostly just sat there scratching his mutt and holding the sign while people drove past ignoring them. When I finished my breakfast I decided to make another run through the drive-through and ordered a large chicken biscuit combo. As I was leaving I pulled up along side him and handed him the bag of breakfast and a small bag of dog food I had in my truck for when I bring my dog to work.

The bag of Chick-fil-A put a huge smile on his face but when I handed him the bag of dog food the guy literally lost it and started bawling right there on the side of my truck. After regaining his composure he exclaimed that it had been so long since somebody had treated him like a human being. I asked him if he would be willing to work hard for a decent day’s pay and he immediately straightened up and exclaimed that he could be the hardest worker I had ever seen. I gave him my business card and a fiver and told him to meet me at that spot the next morning and I would put him to work.

The next day I stopped in and sure enough he was waiting there for me, I took him and his dog to the jobsite. He wasn’t kidding about being a hard worker; this guy carried wood around and fetched tools out of my truck for me all day without complaining once. His dog just shadowed him the entire time.

During the day I learned about how he had lost his wife in a car accident, had his home that he had lived in for 35 years repossessed by the bank, had no children or family, was staying at a KOA campground, and had a bunch of his life possessions stolen, had been spit on by strangers while begging for money and had all but given up on the human race as a whole.

At the end of the day I took him to my bank and withdrew his day’s pay which amounted to $80. The look on his face was well worth it. My random act of kindness seemed to put a spark back in his eye and I continued to pick him up the rest of the week in the same spot and paying him at the end of each day.

Yesterday when I dropped him off he asked me to take him to a different spot, near the KOA. He explained with the money I paid him he was going to be able to afford camping provisions for the next couple of months and told me how much it meant to him and his dog to not have to sleep outside on the cold ground.

When I left him last night he looked like a different person then the man I saw hanging his head in shame behind Chik-fil-A. He promised me he would be there for me next week if I needed him and although my job-site is going to be on the other side of town next week I have already decided to continue going out of my way to pick him up and put him to work.

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