Archive

Inspirational

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 27, 2015

I would not consider myself to be a prayer warrior. But, I do pray. Not because I believe in the power of prayer, but because I believe in the power of God. At times, I have prayed big, brave, badass prayers; but for the most part, in tough situations I try to pray “make it count” before I pray “make it better”.

So, keeping my general cowardice in prayer in mind, I have a story to tell you.

I’ve waged a long war with illness this winter, and early in January, I lost hearing in my left ear. A course of antibiotics and a bunch of other medicines could not clear it up. Instead, it grew worse, and after a month, my right ear decided that since misery loves company it, too, would start to block up.

Coupled with weeks of coughing, sewer drama, pneumonia, family crises and my daughter coming home with headlice, I was at my wits end. I had agreed to speak at our church’s women’s retreat, as well as at a college ministry function; and with just days to go – I was exhausted and partially deaf. My mom nagged me to go to the doctor. “I don’t have time,” I protested. “What little time I have, I need to prepare for retreat.” But she prevailed on me: I needed a better plan.

One Friday morning, I left my children with the babysitter and escaped to a coffee shop. My agenda for the morning was simple: make an appointment with the doctor, get out of the college speaking engagement, and do some prep work for the retreat. I settled in with a latte at the coffee shop, only to discover I couldn’t connect to the wifi, and so, unable to contact the doctor or the college pastor, I dived into retreat prep.

My passage for study was James 4 and I made steady notes, mentally formulating my talks about our Father who loves us and who invites us to ask him for our heart’s desires. I found myself continuing to James 5, where all of a sudden these verses leapt up at me:

12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

Really? Really? This verse, right there, right then, while I was preparing talks about asking our loving Father for big, bold, heartfelt things?

The contrast could not have been clearer. My “wise” plan for coping had been to 1) say no to my commitment, and 2) call a doctor about my illness. But here were two verses that say 1) let your yes remain yes, and 2) ask the elders to pray if you’re sick. Oh, and use oil.

The words simple obedience floated in my mind, and I surrendered in tears. I sent a message to the college pastor, assuring him I’d be there the following Tuesday; and I mentally rehearsed how to phrase my awkward request to the elders.

I spent the afternoon tending to kids and re-checking my daughter for nits. I had a meeting at church later that night, at which several of the elders would be present. Leaving home, I hastily grabbed the tea-tree oil we’d been using for lice treatments and stuffed it into my purse. On the drive over, though, I felt sheepish about the oil, and resolved to just ask them to pray instead. Surely the oil was symbolic, anyway? Simple Obedience came to mind, but I squashed it.

We finished up our meeting, each person speaking clearly and slowly since I’d explained I had lost most of my hearing. When the meeting was over, I sheepishly explained about James and all the coffee-house tears earlier that day, and asked them to pray. They gathered around and laid hands on my shoulders and prayed for God to please heal my ears.

We said our Amens, and things were that strange combination of warm-and-awkward, and someone made a joke that there should have been oil. I threw my face into my palms and confessed, “I actually have oil in my purse but I felt too stupid to bring it out!”

“Well, then let’s use the oil,” someone said, and so – adding to the awkwardness – they gathered around once more and removed my tea tree oil from its ziploc back and wads of paper towel (so holy, I know) – and prayed once more, this time dabbing some of the lice-repellant on my forehead.

Another round of amens brought everything to a close, and I packed up my oil into its plastic bag and made my way to the parking lot. What was that about, Lord? I wondered, pulling my car out into the dark, foggy road.

Thirty seconds later, tiredness caught up with me and I yawned. My left ear crackled and I was suddenly engulfed by a wave of nausea. My vision swam in front of my eyes and I gripped the steering wheel, afraid I would black out. I pulled over, Jesus-take-the-wheel-style, hoping I wouldn’t land in a ditch, and waited for the nausea to pass and my vision to settle down.

I yawned again, and this time my right ear crackled and another wave of nausea washed over me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the horrible swimming sensation to go away. As it ebbed away, I blew my nose and yawned again, trying to shake out the clogged feeling that remained in my ear. With that, my right ear suddenly cleared: and with two ears now open for the first time in six weeks, I realized that the radio was on. I hadn’t been able to hear it before, but now with crystal clarity the beloved voices of Simon & Garfunkel singing these, the first words that drifted into my nearly-restored ears:

Here’s to you, Mrs Robinson,

Jesus loves you more than you will know.

God bless you please, Mrs Robinson,

Heaven holds a place for those who pray.

Hey. hey. hey.

I sat in the car and cried and cried: tears of gratitude and surprise and the overwhelming knowledge of being loved and heard by a Father who cares.

And all of a sudden it made sense: the talks on asking our loving Father boldly for our deep desires, the call to simple obedience, and even the silliness of the oil. Because no matter how old we get or how sophisticated people may think we are, some truths bear repeating: Jesus loves you more than you will know, and heaven holds a place for those who pray.

Posted on March 26, 2015 by Bronwyn Lea      http://t.co/YylftweVYT
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 22, 2006

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFE TIME.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, It is usually to meet a need.

You have expressed.

They have come to assist you though a difficulty,

To provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are….

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then , without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to and end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes the act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realized is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season.

LIFE TIME Relationships teach you life time lessons things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

You job is to accept the lesson. Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and are as of your life.

It is said that Love is blind but Friendship is Clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Whether you were, a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFE TIME.

Author Unknown - Please comment if you know the author so credit can be given
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 29, 2005

A pastor had been on a long flight between church conferences. The first

warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane

flashed on: Fasten Your Seat Belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice said,

“We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a

little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened.”

As the pastor looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the

passengers were becoming apprehensive.

Later, the voice on the intercom said, “We are so sorry that we are unable

to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us.”

And then the storm broke ..

The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the

engines. Lightning lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great

plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the

airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if

it were about to crash.

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around

him. He said, “As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the

passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying. The future seemed

ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.

“Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to

her. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was

reading a book and every- thing within her small world was calm and orderly.

“Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would

straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the

plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and

that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults

were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and

unafraid.” The minister could hardly believe his eyes.

It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its

destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, our pastor

lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time.

Having commented about the storm and the behavior of the plane, he asked why

she had not been afraid.

The child replied, “Cause my Daddy’s the pilot, and he’s taking me home.”

There are many kinds of storms that buffet us. Physical, mental, financial,

domestic, and many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and

throw our plane into apparently uncontrollable movement. We have all known

such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at

rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a

darkened sky.

Let us remember: Our Father is the Pilot. He is in control and taking us

home. Don’t worry!

Author Unknown - Please comment if you know the author so credit can be given
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 23, 1994

1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice
about you. Wear nice shoes.

2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance
you’ll die within the next 3 years.

3. There are at least six people in the world who look exactly
like you. There’s a 9% chance that you’ll meet one of them in your   lifetime.

4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your
spine stronger.

5. A person’s height is determined by their father,
and their weight is determined by their mother.

6. If a part of your body “falls asleep”, you can almost always
“wake it up”  by shaking your head.

7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing:
food, attractive people, and danger.

8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.

9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb
the unpleasant odor.

10. According to Albert Einstein, if honey bees were to disappear
from earth, humans would be dead within four years.

11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one
every day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.

12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but
you will only live 11 days without sleeping.

13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.

14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.

15. A human brain has a capacity to store five times as much
information as Wikipedia.

16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!

17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters
of water!!

18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest
cell !!

19. Stomach acid (conc. HCL) is strong enough to dissolve
razor blades!!

20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk,
SMILE.  It is the ultimate antidepressant.

21. Sit in silence for at least ten minutes each day.

22. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God’s guidance
for your purpose today.

23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
that is manufactured in plants.

24. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli,
and almonds.

25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

26. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner
like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

28. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Forgive them for everything.

30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

31. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

32. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

33. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
‘In five years, will this matter?’

36. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’.

37. What other people think of you is none of your business.

38. Time heals everything.

39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

40. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

41. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.

42. Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and
be thankful for what you accomplished today.

43. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

Author Unknown - Please comment if you know  the author so credit can be given

 

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 23, 2013

All You will leave behind for the world to remember is Your Legacy.

So ask yourself…

Will you have earned the respect of your peers and the admiration of your critics?

Will you have acted humbly at the peak of success and graceful in the face of defeat?

Will you have kept your childlike wonder and reveled in the beauty of the world and the small miracles that each day brought?

Will you be remembered for how often you laughed and brought smiles to the hearts of others?

Will small children and the elderly have been overjoyed to be around you?

Will others have trusted you with their inner most secrets?

Will you have forgiven and offered heartfelt apology?

Will you have looked for the very best, and done your utmost to build worth, in others?

Will you have fed a hungry child or clothed a naked man or given hope to a stranger in dire need?

Will you have left this world a better place by the life you have lived?

Ask yourself… what Legacy will You Leave?

 

-- By Rick Beneteau
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
December 18, 2009

An atheist created a case in court against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant. The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”

Author Unknown - Please comment if you know the author so credit can be given
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
March 18, 1998

A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone,
And no need for recording things, someone was always home.

We only had a living room where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them with something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton’s onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked to cook,
And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crockery’s book.

The snacks were even healthy with the best ingredients,
No labels with a hundred things that make not a bit of sense.

Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,
We all did things together — even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were without our own cell phone.

Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball — and no game video.

Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn’t need insurance or a lawyer to defend?

The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.

Remember going to the store and shopping casually,
And when you went to pay for it you used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person had to really count?

Remember when we breathed the air; it smelled so fresh and clean,
And chemicals were not used on the grass to keep it green.

The milkman used to go from door to door,
And it was just a few cents more than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters came right to your door,
Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it was sent;
There were not loads of mail addressed to “present occupant.”

Remember when the words “I do” meant that you really did,
And not just temporarily “til someone blows their lid.”

T’was no such thing as “no one’s fault; we just made a mistake,”
There was a time when married life was built on give and take.

There was a time when just one glance was all that it would take,
And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make.

They didn’t look like turtles trying to squeeze out every mile;
They were streamlined, white walls, fins, and really had some style.

One time the music that you played whenever you would jive,
Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.

The record player had a post to keep them all in line,
And then the records would drop down and play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,
And always we were striving, trying for a better way.

And every year that passed us by brought new and greater things,
We now can even program phones with music or with rings.

Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?

And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes,
And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.

So, time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.

Author Unknown - Please comment if you know the author so credit can be given
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,409 other followers

%d bloggers like this: