Your Duck is Dead

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
December 11, 2013

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

Author Unknown  -  Please comment if you know the author so credit can be given
    • I must say that this is one of my favorite Dilberts!!!!! I love the last frame, you can see the attitudes in their faces and body expressions….. LOL

      Thanks for the comment!!!

      Take Care and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T


  1. That was worth reading to the fam 🙂 We all laughed!!! Thanks for bringing us together 🙂


    • My wife, MaMa T, absolutely loved this story!!!! I am glad you can share these stories with your family!!!

      Take Care and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T


    • A good Friend of mine sent this story to me and I laughed and laughed!!!!!

      Thanks for the re-blog!!!

      Take Care and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T


  2. Reblogged this on Richard's Watch and commented:
    Irresistibly funny – cartoon and sorry tail(s) go hand-in-glove! Thanks Kenny, I cannot but re-blog 🙂


    • Hey Richard, thanks for the re-blog!!!! It is an honor!!!

      Take Care My Friend and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T

      Merry Christmas!!!!


      • Thanks Kenny, and this is to let you know I’ve just put the Lion Bites in the correct ‘munching’ order!


  3. "Working for Christ" said:

    That’s funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning, Kenny T! 🙂 Dave


  4. Interesting joke! Talk about health care, that cartoon is so on target! Smiles.
    (The cartoon about the dead duck and the lab report and cat scan –too funny)


  5. I loved it….cute joke…thank you for making me laugh.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: