Wounded in the Church

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
July 12,1996

Are you upset over the treatment you received at the hands of church people who chose to condemn instead of helping you?

Or who neglected you when they should have sought you out, restored you spiritually and returned you to the flock?

Most people who’ve been wounded in the church could easily convince a jury it should never have happened. And it shouldn’t! But it did – and reliving it won’t change it. Think: if you were mugged and taken to the hospital, you wouldn’t spend all your time obsessing about the mugger who beat you up, would you? No, your main concern would be recovering as fast as possible!

Ironically, with physical wounds we seek help immediately, but with emotional ones we’re inclined to focus on the problem instead of the solution.

General Robert E. Lee once visited a house in Kentucky where a very bitter woman showed him the remains of a magnificent tree the Union artillery had destroyed. She expected Lee to sympathize with her and condemn the Yankees.  But instead he quietly replied, “Cut it down, dear lady, and forget it.”


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  1. When we get hurt, sometimes it’s time to move on, but instead we choose to move in and stay a while. Great story.


  2. Thank you a deep post. I have reblogged. So many of us need to cut down the past and move on. Father help us.


  3. Reblogged this on Christian Warrior and commented:
    So many of us need to cut down the past and move on.
    Father help us to put the past and its hurts into your hands and move on continuing our walk with you, not put off by what others do.


  4. Praise God, I have cut down the past and moved on…by the grace and goodness of God. He’s forgiven me and my sins, I would be wrong to withhold that from others. He is the healer and always gives grace to let it go and let Him work in the lives of others.
    Thanks for this worthy post, Kenny!


  5. I just blogged about the spirit of Jezebel. I honestly believe that the thing you describe here is a manifestation of this spirit. If we don’t recognize the pattern of her work, it is bound to follow us. It’s awesome when we can find spiritual understanding for things that happen to us. Not that we aren’t to take responsibility, but it does give us a place to start. A ‘shoe in’ if you will to say, ‘hey! it wasn’t just me .. and YES! It can be dealt with.’ It’s good to know that there are answers to problems. Our world spends too much time teaching to avoid the mess. That’s just not God’s way. After all, He stepped right in the middle of it and gave His life as a willingness to confront the mess. 🙂 What an awesome God we serve! Here’s a link to the blog I refer to: God bless!



  6. Nancy said:

    Love that Robert E. Lee quote. I’m also learning how to stop picking at the wound so I can heal. It’s hard work, though.


  7. It took me a long time to change my perspective on “church people”. When I first began my conversion to Christianity, I wore “rose colored” glasses. I expected people outside the church to “hurt” me, but never expected to be “hurt” by those inside church – after all, they were “Christians” and knew the word, right? Wrong! My new found perspective – we are ALL “carnal” – there is no perfect church, because they all are made up of imperfect people! My new focus and attention is on a power greater than myself – Jesus Christ, God made manifest in the flesh. People invariably will fail me. But God never fails. I’ve heard it said, “hurting people, hurt others”…Keeping that thought in mind when I’m hurt makes it much easier for me to forgive and move on – it also allows me to deal with them with kindness and compassion.


  8. In a divorce situation, however, the tree has to stay for the sake of the children, child support, maybe even alimony checks. James Dobson aptly describes divorce as “on going death” for that reason. God has given me a deep sympathy for chilren of divided homes. And, I have an adopted daughter who is caught in an “open adoption” in which one of the birth parents participates. Most of the time, the birth parents disappear but not in this one. It is a tree impossible to cut down, instead we have to prune it and cultivate it!


    • I look forward to all your comments and this is one of your best!!!!

      Take Care and God Bless 🙂 Kenny T


      • Well, thanks! I am way behind in reading posts, so I haven’t been blogging much either. I figure maybe everyone is a little busy this time of the year. You encouraged me.


  9. Christians have “loved” people out of church with their lovelessness! Great post!


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