Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
April 26, 2001

Approximately 15 years ago I was at a friend’s wedding and during the speeches at the reception, the groom was thanking his parents for their love and patience. His emotions got the better of him and tears began to freely flow.

Some at the wedding thought it showed a weakness in Warren. As for me, these words came to my mind (I don’t know if I created this saying or if I heard it from somewhere else), and I am reminded of them everytime tears well up in my eyes: “Tears do not a man belittle – but rather a man they make.”

Women just seem to naturally know how to cry. Their emotions are stirred reading a book, watching a movie, grieving with a friend, experiencing the pain their children experience.

Men have a long way to go in learning, and I hesitate to use it, about their “soft side”. We have been taught by our fathers that tears are a sign of weakness, “Grown men don’t cry”. Instead, we should be teaching our children that tears are a sign that we have enough confidence in ourselves to be ourselves.

To be able to laugh so hard that tears run down your face is to experience true joy. To be able to look up to a Heavenly Father with tears streaming down our face and say “Thank-you for forgiving me” is to understand true forgiveness. To stand at a grave side with uncontrolled tears is to say that you loved someone and you are truly going to miss them.

Can a man really be complete if he suppresses the urge to shed tears, to show his soft side? You have to decide that for yourself.

--- Copyright © 2000 Brian McKay --- Manitoba, Canada
  1. Joy Hill said:

    Beautiful story.


  2. Was just talking with my father about this today, in a round-a-bout way. My mom just passed about a week and a half ago, and he said he has shed more tears since then than he probably has his entire life. My dad has never been one to cry. In fact, the first time that I remember was several weeks ago over dinner when we were talking about my mother, who was in the hospital at the time. I am 45 next month. That’s a long time passed together to have never seen him cry before! But he now says that it’s been a good thing, and the tears just flow whenever they feel like it. Good for him!


  3. The song says, “For Those Tears I Died.” It is a good thing to be able to cry; it’s a release, if it’s not carried on an inordinate amount of time.


  4. There are times when no man can hold back tears, as one of the comments already made shows. The loss of a wife, even mother or father. I cried once when my brother had to go hungry for a bit. My ‘soft side’ though? This is where we part philosophies… Men don’t have a soft side. They don’t have a feminine side. We weren’t created that way for a reason. Those are myths perpetuated by a weak, overindulgent, spoiled society and by people who just want everyone else to take care of everything for them and women who want men to be more like them. Back when your daily existence relied on a man’s ability to shut that off to get the work required of living done, being able to stuff or power through emotional times was indispensable. God made us that way for a reason.


  5. Yoshiko said:

    It’s okay for me to see a man show his soft side 🙂


  6. I’m okay then. Whew, I thought I was just an old “softie”! Thanks, Kenny T! 🙂


  7. Blessings,

    Wow! That was awesome, thank you for sharing, I needed to hear that. The measure of a man, is the measure of his heart. Who is a man who thinks he can not cry. Our God sheds tears every time it rains:D

    God bless,


  8. I don’t think I have ever loved, appreciated, or been honoured by someone so much as when my daughter’s father wept on my shoulder twice when his parents died, one day after the other. He was 28 and I’ve never otherwise known him to cry.


  9. Emilia said:

    The cartoon made me laugh and the story warmed my heart. Thank you. I’m a big believer in the necessity of crying and not just because everything can make me cry. It’s fantastic that people are expressing this point of view online. I wish more people would begin to understand how important tears are.


  10. I don’t get what you mean. Big boys don’t cry. Everybody knows that. If my wife tells you that she has ever seen me cry, well, she would be lying, except for that one time in the barn.


  11. Arkay6 said:

    So true. There is a time and place for all things, including tears. We shouldn’t be afraid that allowing tears to flow will show that we are weak, in fact they only whoe how comfortable and confident one is in himself.


  12. sheilamariegrimes said:

    Tears are windows to the heart!


  13. Mary said:

    “Tears do not a man belittle – but rather a man they make.” Love this. And yes, even Jesus wept.


  14. Oh, wow! Tissue… 😉 Some men (and some people) must learn empathy and compassion before the tears flow and some fight it back. It all has to do with the heart and an abundance of love that knows no boundaries. We cannot become so callous that we do not show emotion. Another tissue please… A good one! Thanks, Kenny. Wow! 😀


  15. When men cry, I actually see that as real strength. A man who is not afraid to show his emotions and be authentic is a man of quality most of the time. Men are human too 🙂


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