Christian One-Liners

Vintage Dilbert
February 3, 1996

• Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
• Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
• Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
• It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
• The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
• When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.
• People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
• Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong..
• If the church wants a better preacher, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
• God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
• Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
• Peace starts with a smile.
• I don’t know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
• A lot of church members who are singing ‘Standing on the Promises’ are just sitting on the premises.
• We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
• Be ye fishers of men.. You catch them – He’ll clean them.
• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
• Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
• Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
• Forbidden fruits create many jams.
• God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
• God grades on the cross, not the curve..
• God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruit of the spirit” over a “religious nut”.
• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• He who angers you, controls you!
• If God is your Co-pilot – swap seats!
• Don’t give God instructions — just report for duty! – Corrie ten Boom
• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
• The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
• We don’t change the message, the message changes us.
• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
• The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

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