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Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 25, 2005

I Am Thankful for…

The messes to clean after a party because it means friends have surrounded me.
The taxes I pay because it means that I’m employed.
The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine
A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.
The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking
My huge heating bill because it means I am warm.
The lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means that I can hear.
The piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby
Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.
The alarm ringing in the early morning hours because it means that I’m awake and alive.

 

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Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 24, 2004

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

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Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 21, 1991

One of the first steps to accomplishing great things in your life is to cease dwelling on the negative things in your past. Carefully assess your present strengths, successes, and achievements. Dwell on those positive events in your life, and quit limiting your potential by constantly thinking about what you have done poorly. Alice and the Mad Hatter in Wonderland had a conversation that illustrates this concept:

Alice: Where I come from, people study what they are not good at in order to be able to do what they are good at.

Mad Hatter: We only go around in circles in Wonderland, but we always end up where we started. Would you mind explaining yourself?

Alice: Well, grown-ups tell us to find out what we did wrong, and never do it again

Mad Hatter: That’s odd! It seems to me that in order to find out about something, you have to study it. And when you study it, you should become better at it. Why should you want to become better at something and then never do it again? But please continue.

Alice: Nobody ever tells us to study the right things we do. We’re only supposed to learn from the wrong things. But we are permitted to study the right things other people do. And sometimes we’re even told to copy them.

Mad Hatter: That’s cheating!

Alice: You’re quite right, Mr. Hatter. I do live in a topsy-turvy world. It seems like I have to do something wrong first, in order to learn from what not to do. And then, by not doing what I’m not supposed to do, perhaps I’ll be right. But I’d rather be right the first time, wouldn’t you?

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 20, 2000

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

By Edgar Albert Guest 
Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 19, 2009

A friend’s grandfather came to America from Eastern Europe. After being processed at Ellis Island, he went into a cafeteria in lower Manhattan to get something to eat. He sat down at an empty table and waited for someone to take his order. Of course nobody did. Finally, a woman with a tray full of food sat down opposite him and informed him how a cafeteria worked.

“Start out at that end,” she said. “Just go along the line and pick out what you want. At the other end they’ll tell you how much you have to pay.”

“I soon learned that’s how everything works in America,” the grandfather told a friend. “Life’s a cafeteria here. You can get anything you want as long as you are willing to pay the price.

You can even get success, but you’ll never get it if you wait for someone to bring it to you. You have to get up and get it yourself.”

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Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 18, 2008

A new resident arrived at our Nursing Home; a 92-year-old, petite, poised and proud man, well dressed, his hair was neatly combed and his face shaved perfectly smooth with a pleasant cologne applied. Even though he is legally blind, he decided to move to our nursing home. His wife of 65 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I verbally provided a visual description of his tiny room. As we entered, he was ecstatic and said, “I love it,” with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mr. Roth, please calm down, you know you have a vision problem and cannot see the room.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” he replied.

“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. That’s the kind of decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.”

And then he said, “Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away.”

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Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert
November 17, 1997

You train fleas by putting them in a jar with a top on it. Fleas jump, so they will jump up and hit the top over and over again. As you watch them jump and hit the top, you will notice something interesting. The fleas continue to jump, but they are no longer jumping high enough to hit the top.

Then, and it’s a matter of record, you can take the top off and though the fleas continue to jump, they won’t jump out of the jar. I repeat, they won’t jump out because they can’t. The reason is simple. They have conditioned themselves to jump just so high. Once they have conditioned themselves to jump just so high, that’s all they can do.

Many times, people do the same thing. They restrict themselves and never reach their potential. Just like the fleas, they fail to jump higher, thinking they are doing all they can do.

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